E C Axford, Ossett Headmaster

E C Axford

You wouldn’t think that The Wicker Man would make a suitable subject for a school play but our headmaster E. C. Axford’s plays were dark dramas with a similar theme.

A People Apart was a tale of everyday village folk who practise pagan sacrifice while in Black Bread the inhabitants of a recently discovered remote island are forced to keep to their medieval lifestyles to please visiting tourists.

My sister Linda had a long speech, standing by the village cross, discussing the philosophical implications of holding back progress but the line that I remember was from one of the island’s disgruntled peasants, played by Clive Simms, who grumbles: “They threw my Morris Minor off the cliff!”

Mr Axford’s literary efforts also included a novel, A Stranger in Allanford, 1960, and a poem that was set to music by the school Madrigal Society.

As a retirement project he wrote about Bodmin Moor for a David & Charles topographical series.

At morning assembly Mr Axford would dip into his notebook of suitable readings. One of them, a tale of charitable deeds, ends with the hero arriving at a musical gathering, probably after giving away his cloak or his shoes. After explaining his late arrival he says to his friends: “And now, let us tune our instruments.”

A great closing line.

6 comments

  1. Another favourite of his for Assembly was “Glory be to God for dappled things; for skies of coupled-colour as a brindled cow….” by Gerard Manley Hopkins, from Pied Beauty. Dave also remembers “Naming of parts” but it means nothing to me. I shall pass on your recollection to the owner of the Morris Minor.

  2. Richard, I’m just catching up with July as I have an Outlook reminder set for the beginning of each new month to take a look. Thank you for the visual recollections of Clifton Infants, St Peters and OGS, a path I also shared with you and Linda (to whom greetings!). I recall Miss (I think) Birdhouse at Clifton Infants; and add to your St Peter’s list Mrs Rowlands and Mr (Alan) Johnson (a friend in his later years); at OGS Miss (Ailish) Eves was my first year form mistress and I certainly remember Loony Moore and ECA (and Black Bread!). Amongst others I could add the sibilant ‘Squeak’, whose surname now escapes me, (for German) and ‘Tab’ or ‘Acko’ Atkinson (for maths and detentions!). The evolution of his two nicknames can be explained if need be by saying you always knew if he was sneaking up behind you in a lesson because the overwhelming fug of old pipe smoke preceded his approach! I recall Mr Axford once disallowing the eating of oranges during GCE exams by referring to them as ‘thoroughly antisocial’ whilst shaking his head and causing his jowly cheeks to wobble at the same time! Try saying it in that fashion!

    1. Thank you for those distant memories Stephen. One of our contemporaries on Facebook remembered getting into trouble for calling the 1st year infants teacher ‘Miss Birdhouse’. She got a telling off as it was actually Burhouse, but Birdhouse is much more memorable. I’ve got a few books handed onto to me from Mr ‘Squeak’ Lucas with his Ex Libris plate on the endpapers. Lovely man and I didn’t realise at the time that he was very into botany, even attending botanical conferences.
      My absolute favourite admonition from Mr Axford – not directed at me personally, you’ll understand! – was: ‘Even ferrets don’t foul their own nests!’
      I would never have guessed that Miss Eves was an Ailish, don’t think I’ve ever come across that name before.
      I don’t expect you remember the name of the teacher of the 3rd year class at Clifton Infants, which for me came between Mrs Wallis and new arrival Miss Marsh, the headmistress? She wasn’t very like my drawing and I think she was the go-to teacher for playing the piano in the main hall.

      1. I’ve lived all these years believing Birdhouse was correct! I don’t remember your other teacher from Clifton Infants but I’ll have a dig around the family, you never know. About 5 minutes ago my memory rebooted itself and Lucas sprang out at me as the name I couldn’t remember, but you knew anyway!

  3. Nicknames of teachers OGS

    It seems to be in the psyche of pupils to make up nicknames for their teachers.
    Long after the bases of some nicknames have been forgotten, the actual nicknames are remembered. I record some of the nicknames of teachers of around my time at the school (1946 to 1953).

    1 Dr HG Chapman (“The doc”) – Head – from 1924 to 1945
    2 Miss FG Mann (“Frau” Mann) – Miss Mann slipped and broke some ribs at school (before my time at OGS) and then acquired the nickname “Tinribs” – taught German – Senior Mistress – 1921 to 1961?
    3 Mr H “Dippy” Dyson – I have no idea why he got that nickname, as he certainly wasn’t “dippy” – taught Latin & history – from at least 1936 to 1964
    4 Mr “Pussy” Parsons – nickname came from his tendency to wear a bow tie in his earlier days, rather than a conventional tie (bow ties were, apparently, called “pussy bow ties” in the 1930s/1940s). Had a habit of pushing his spectacles up onto his head and then not being able to find them on his desk. Seemed to lose the blackboard rubber often and used his gown to clean the board. An impressive mathematician, particularly for Double Maths in the Upper Sixth. (lived in Netherton) – Head of maths (& taught physics earlier) – from at least 1936 to 1960?
    5 Mr Geoffrey “Foss” Yates (ex pupil OGS) – he had that nickname when he was a pupil of the school, so it was not bestowed on him when he became a teacher – Games & PE 1951 to 1955 & 1956? & 1960?
    6 Miss “Tinribs” Linley – Domestic Science – from at least 1936 to at least 1962
    7 Mr Joe “Moggy” Morgan – French, Games & PE – 1940 to 1945
    8 Mr H “Bum” Bailey – nickname given long before my time at OGS – taken from Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night”, Act 3 Scene 4, where Sir Toby Belch, speaking to Sir Andrew Aguecheek, says “Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-baily” (“bum-bailiff ” in some texts). I assume that the term ”bum-baily” amused some pupils, so Mr Bailey was lumbered with a nickname that had only a very tenuous connection with him – geography – 1921 to 1962

    1. Out of that vintage of OGS teachers, I remember ‘Dippy’ Dyson, but Miss Linley had become ‘Florie’ Linley in my time. Perhaps she’d filled out a bit too much to be ‘Tinribs’?

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